You know how sometimes people say things like “treat others the way you want to be treated” but it can be frusterating to not have that reciprocated. Sometimes you have the “i love her more than she loves me” or “i wish he did as much for me as I do for him”

Well why not do it for yourself? Love yourself! Be happy to be around youself! Shout your name out to the world!

But in all seriousness- I beg the question: Are you happy in your own head? Are you filled with joy at the thought of life and experience when you’re around yourself.

I fully encourage full self love, recognition, and appreciation. Treat YOURSELF how you want to be treated!

dont be afraid to play with darkness. What is a sick representation of manipulative and dark human nature? How can you play with that in a way where your imagination is working.

Lets create a good character too- someone whos bad a being good, but tries so hard. Some unlikely hero that fails way too much 

also think about- what do these definitions of good and evil- how you place these characters in your story refect your own moral standing and perception of right and wrong- or is it totally objective?

Dark Character: fantasizes about evil things. Ways she has the ability to scare those around her. She can read people, and is so tempted to make their fears reality. Shes a trickster and a control freak. Clever, sly, and motivated. 

Her parents were together since they were children, highschool. Really? Who would want to settle down that early?

The narration will follow her perspective when describing and thinking about her or her interactions while it will follow the good when talking about her interactions. There are 2 narration tones and the narrator is not all knowing.

She has to interact with the good girl somehow and I dont want it to be at a school because that is too cliche. I want it to be at slack night or the climbing gym or in a wetsuit in the ocean. I dont want it to be cliche or clear they identify each other right away. But the two will evetually become the protagonist and antagonist. 

I’m thinking of their hometowns and current settings… I want full character bios before the story. 

You’re not the center of the story. Its the character they relate too.

“You are already playing because…” “I am not already playing because I dont beleive I am” Maybe you should redifine where you get your morals from. Rules or yourself?

Science is question driven- and you have to be literate! 

Dont submit flukey work. They dont like the guys that make mistakes observing on the fishing boats

yes you got it!

Nobody wants to know about you. Listen listen listen. Be kind, have a heart. dont forget. 

Preformers get an audience, observers get a friend.

I wasnt afraid. I did it to make it better for you, and to be truthful, it was better for me.

I like my own company. I’m okay being in my own head. I’m okay being alone.

I dont care about how I look, I care about what I can do.

Being organized makes me feel like I have control over my life. Do it when its assigned not when its due. 

She forgot about struggling in chemistry so quickly. Maybe thats how shes such an amazing physics major. If it gives me trouble, that is okay. Just keep trying to understand not get the grade. 

Write as if the stories still played in your mind. Its the ability to manipulate language- anyone can have the idea. Just let yourself play… and actually write.

Today was beautiful. I liked that although it was the last day before school starts, I didn’t worry or stress- just had fun enjoying the beautiful place I live.

I have such a great feeling about this semester. I’m stoked to have learned as much as I did last semester, but more importantly I’m ready for this new start. I’m determined to tackle every problem that comes my way with new energy this semester.

My goals are to: utilize my time more wisely, find my own thoughts/voice, not give in to my id, focus better, take care of my body by being active, save money, be more aware of money, and to devote extra time to everything I’m doing instead of just the bear minimum.

I love being in my house, waking up to a clean room and sunshine. I like that peaceful state of mind when I just feel so exuberent and happy to be alive in the morning. 

And the best part is, there’s fresh made delicious soup waiting in my fridge. 

beautiful. 

I can’t wait to be completely independent. Yeah its a little intimidating, but mostly exciting, and completely necessary.

I was afraid to join back up with Sheamus to start our relationship up again a few months ago because I knew I needed to be alone, but I couldn’t say no to the happiness and love he brings me.

However, that need is still there. I cannot develop into the adult individual I have the potential to be without my own strong voice. I need independence to find that. I need to find other things to spend my time, thoughts, and energy on than a person. I can begin to identify myself with hobbies and interests, and surround myself with an array of new faces that bring different perspectives and knowledge.

You can only learn so much from one person. Unless you plan on marrying them, there’s a point when you should go your seperate ways. 

We laugh at the unsexiness of the word. I tell you how I like the way you remember, you look at me and laugh. I’m happy today. I’m happy for this little bit of time, whatever that means. 

So what if I dont feel stable? I dont have a home base and I know that Montreal is around the corner- but wheres the excitement in feeling stable anyways? 

To be attached to someone is an interesting phenomena. I wonder if I wasnt attached if I would feel as bored without you. Maybe I am bored with you sometimes, but maybe thats just the boredom I’m comfortable with.

The past two days Sheamus has been very busy and school hasnt started yet for me. I’ve been so lonely and bored. I hung out with a few friends but keep going back to checking the time to see when he is free.

I wonder if he thinks I’m as silly as I do. Being attached is weird. Man, I’m up for a hard time in a few months. 

Should I start practicing and detaching now or is that just too sad? How do you love and invest in some thing you know is going to end.

Simple, if you’re smart, you don’t. 

When I was at home before going to college, I used to pride myself on my independence. I found some sort of excitement from preparing for the next step in my life. “I’m going to be so good at college” I thought. I envisioned myself more than just the basics of in class, but cooking for myself, managin money well, choosing constructive outlets, and being overwelmingly self-sufficient.

Pride. Its interesting how a piece of identity such as pride can be such a strong motivater and force within itself. The phraise “I am proud to be independent” is so empowering in itself.

My second year in college I was much more adjusted to living on my own, and I didnt think about being independent from my parents because it just was. But I want to cherish that feeling of being so proud. I think it creates a positive self image to have traites that you are conciously proud of.

There is nothing quite like a clean room. I am so in love with looking past my toes at the rainbow closet of all my favorite things on display. The cute well places lights that line my bulliten board of adventures. I am in love with the feeling of being home and able to fully relax without the harsh realization that I really have so much to do.

I am in love with a clean room, with organization, and with having a home. I’m proud of my space and I will continue to make it more and more my own. 

This is my house, i decided yesterday. When Shane and Izzy are gone, I’m staying, and I’m having who I want move in. 

Rock climbing today was a great adventure. We went for Sheamus’ birthday and I was so happy to be outside. I was proud of myself for reaching new heights that I hadn’t before on this route.

Aside  from leaving my wet suit at the beach (hopefully I can return to it tomorrow) everything went smoothly. swimming in the ocean was soooo amazing!! I loved it so much. Overall, it was a very good day.

Unfortunately, I broke my $50 a week rule and bought myself a harness that I needed to continue my rock climbing habit (hoping to build it more!) Also, a burger for sheamus and I for dinner.

Back to work tomorrow.