Just Stay Behind

You have such a hard time being alone. It’s funny how my view of you has changed so drastically in such a short period of time. It went from seeing you as a light to seeing you as such darkness. I think that my ideas of what I look for in another person have been refined by your presence. Forget the magic and romance that is so fleeting. I thought that I found something in you. Oh! This person understands me! This person is willing to talk about philosophy! But what is the value of any of that if as a person you have the qualities: afraid to be alone, needy, unreliable, not loyal, false to your word. I’ve always considered myself a bit impulsive, but there’s a difference in choosing to embrace the unknown and impulsively grabbing at life. My magnetic draw to you has turned into repulsion. I am disappointed to leave it at this. I feel that I was able to say some positive words when we spoke yesterday. Although feeling the feelings I felt for you seems like it was more of a memoir than a memory.

This is a reminder to myself that probably every one who I have a negative feeling towards I probably once loved. Because this the stain can only be associated with hurt. I wish that I wasn’t as disappointed as I feel. But thank you for the lessons. Thank you for the time. Thank you for the home. Please let me go.