Shine and rise.
A thousand words is worth a picture,
But blind is love
To rooms with elephants.
In the time of nick,
Minds alike thought greatly,
So mighty and high.

I wake without a reflection
Settled is the mind so far from home
Nothing and everything
Eyes sealed shut
Am I moving or am I still?
I challenge the stars
And wake with a black eye.
They’re laughing at me!

---

I wonder what it feels like to love a daughter. One who never saw herself grow. She’ll never know how many shoes you bought her. She’ll never know how year-by-year you watched her. She’ll never know your nights of worry. What if she wanders too far? too carelessly? what if there’s a time I’m not there to catch her when she falls? You protected her, until she no longer was small enough to be held. You protected her, even as she strode away. She must remember that it is from you she was created. She must know you have loved her for more years than she remembers. Hopefully, she won’t be careless with that sacred life of hers. Golden is the light you’ve given her. Stay alive, dear one.

An empty journal
22 years of forgotten memories
Again, I won’t remember today.
A missed exercise,
a forgotten goal,
Grit slipping through numb fingers.
I won’t pretend I’ll be able to return.
I feel asleep most days
Like I’m in a body made of clay.
I’m a stranger to the mirror.
Was it you who chose this path?
Is there such a thing, as a choice?
And how could you have known…
You were so wrong about me.
We have too much to lose,
it’s too far to turn back,
so we carry our selves deeper.

Lost in a misty mess of never ending vines,
carrying firewood,
I colapse,
giving up.
I cry to the world begging for a path,
I’ve been lost for four hours!
I finally begin back the way I came,
Only to find the trail 20 meters away.

Trekked barefoot through sticks and snow
My skin broke but my spirit held
Rocks of gold and silver
Now a part of me.
Light even in the mud
Steen green hillsides sprout wildflowers
At the base of white glaciers
Framed by tree tops
I once left only to go
My bag rubs red pelts into my shoulders.
Rocks merge with blood.
Butterflies land on plastic bags
Yet
Holy miracle of water
Dipping into effervescent warmth
My skin is cleansed
My head spinning
My toes soft.

I’ll always love those I’ve loved
Even if I cross the street to avoid them.

But a note to self,
Make sure the words “I love you”
aren’t him saying “I own you”
Make sure the hand on you,
isn’t claiming a prize.

I sometimes wonder how
Much I exist
In other people’s minds.

I want to love
so deeply
That we still stroke each other’s faces
When we are old.

I wonder if my grandparents hold each other
And whisper words of love
Or if too many years
Have hardened their hearts
And left the other as an enemy?

Hand in hand
How long have you remembered me?
We are as we always were
Inseparable
Striped shirts and black pants
I love you, my best twin!
Golden child.
Eager to love.
You know what to do when I am leaving.
Make the goodbye quick so it will be okay.
Cherish the days together.
I’ll remember falling asleep next to you.
Company is love’s messenger
Side by side-
I am happy
I am so happy.
Glowing heart I know,
How long I have remembered you.
Grateful that you remember me too.

Mountain curves
Thick fluffy swirls of white
Cuddling as lovers do
Fingers tracing the rising elevation
Until just a wisp remains
Green giants peaking through
Swimming in the clouds
Overtaken
Can the pilot see?
Peak atmosphere, 25,000 ft.
It’s fun to watch people turn to ants.
It’s sunnier up here too.

If I stepped outside this plane I would fall.
A sport one day I might explore.
Propelling flesh
In the direction of gravity.

2.16.16

Hours pass and my life, ambitions, duties slip by.
Absorbed as they wish us to be
I am running in a wheel.
Circles of information pouring into me
I have not chosen yet
Deflected, I open the door for you,
Silent.

Focus and simplicity.
Do not share your life.
Choose what you put your energy towards.
Find comfort with the slowness.

Pianist strumming the prink faces
Gazing at her silhouette as they pass
Palm trees and people
Anxious minds
Voices mute

Black slacks and purple baseball T
Hands swift
Confident yet gentle
Is this art?
A common question for a materialistic mind.

Tell me something about myself.
Tell me something I already know.

(going through old journals and documenting poetry!)