Still Functioning Mostly

I am wandering, or maybe I am lost. What’s the difference and who cares anyway. I was lost at home too. At least here I’m lost intentionally. Sadness is a pattern that I am trying to break. I lay in the grass, my skin guzzling in the sunshine. I am in love with this silence. It fills me up. I am warm and silent and calm.

I may have an incomplete to do list, but I am not a to do list. I am anger. I am happiness. I am everything human. I am love. I am hate. I am laziness. I am competence. I am brilliance. I am nothingness. But I am not a to do list.

Sometimes I forget the way that I can follow people’s eyes when they speak. I can hear their hands move and listen to the tilt of their shoulders. I hear so much more when I listen past the words.

All my deepest desires are shared. We are the same in so many ways. Maybe I’ll start understanding you so that one day I can understand me. If I want to be understood, and ultimately loved, then of course you do too. There is power in my silence. I am reading. I am learning. I am watching.

The sun leaves my back and the breeze feels colder. I am a follower of the climate like the wind. Rising with the warmth and falling with the cool, I travel based on temperatures.

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