He interupted us to bestoy his assertive advice and opinions upon us. It’s interesting when someone thinks it’s their job to teach others. It shows that you’re under the assumption that you know more than I. I find the patriarchial teachings of boys in our society to play out in nearly every way of life, including in regular conversations. I can hear it in his patronizing tone or the way he agressively stands up and wafts his hands in the air when talking. I can feel it way he disregards my positions, no matter what they are. I am not your stage to stand on. I calmy ask questions like, “well, do you think you would have reacted so strongly if you hadnt taken it personally?” And “ignorance isnt an excuse” only to be met with personal and strong retribution.
I read an article today about cis men acting violent in conversations and arguements because that is how we are taught men are supposed to be. It’s good practice for me to know how to respond although I really don’t want to engage or fight battles I dont care about. When people who I havent chosen to admire insist on bestowing their all knowing wisdom upon me, it is humorous more than irritating. Usually these kinds of people are macho men who see me as a young and far from equal girl who ought to listen to them. What they don’t know is that I am letting them learn their own lessons most of the time. I choose not to engage or care despite being culturally taught that men’s burdens are mine to carry. It’s proper for a girl to listen to their worries and offer consolidation and comfort. But that’s not why I’m here. I actually am going to pick and poke at your egotistical tribulations and advice to remind us both that you are not in a position of authority between us.
This is good practice because you are my friend. But the people who I’ll see do this in my life time wont always be. This is easy now because I know you and love you, so I can separate your patronizing tone from the person you are. But the battle to fight is much bigger than just you and I.
So what to do? Sit calmy, and use your wit. Fight the battle with as little words and energy as you need. But dont stay silent because you were born with a voice. That is one of the greatest powers of the human existance. We can use it to better the world, one challenge at a time.