Ex Lover

Still have yet to find someone that defines love as you have to me.
I denied the memories of you.
I can’t compare I tell myself.
You were rare.
One can’t expect someone like that to come around more than once in a lifetime.
its funny that memory can bring us into the past so vividly.
i remember nothing as cleary as i remember you.
Falling into your arms without hesitation,
so completely, unapologetically yours.
The sight of you now overwelmes me.
A mixture of love and fear swells where there used to be nothing but trust.
If I reach for you and you reach back,
will I be ready?
I have loved you endlessly,
Our lives once intricately intertwined have wandered so far from touching.
Maybe you’ll come with me.
Maybe you will be by my side.
But that’s how it will have to be.
You adjusting to my life-
and I don’t know that you’d want that.
Love, as you showed me, is devotion and kindness.
Love is tender warmth and steady understanding.
Love is sacrafice and committment.
I was always lacking what you so fervently gave.
You won’t see me again unless I’m willing to return it.
A love that I’m still painfully tangled in.
A love with reprocutions that scare me deeply.
I am not sure that exists anymore, in any other place than my memory.

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