Some people have dreams for their life in terms of big cars or fine clothing. But my dream for myself is so tangible yet so far away. Internal pursuits can be so difficult to shine light upon.
I want to be able to set my mind to something, and be unstoppable. I want to be able to work for hours without second guessing or convincing myself that I don’t have time or that this isn’t a reality for me. I want to be not only ambitious, but disciplined.
Education has given me habits and tasks that could have led to accomplishing this, but instead they have led to the hell of my own mind that accompanies every school year. Anger, self-loathing, and depression sink into my heart more than the information that I’m learning half the time. I know theres a better way.
I want to seek out learning, not be intimidated by it. I want to open the hw I have to do with confidence, not powerlessness. I want to dream of things, and the turn around and do them. Not just forget about them because I’m too tired to try.
My dream for myself is to be as high functioning as I can be. My dream is to increase my ability to focus, to learn, to organize. And isnt that supposed to be what education really is all about?