Permanence is not a real concern

How can you guess the future

Anxiety without reason then

A lonely expectation not to be understood

Coupled with her absense

Alexia, what will I do without you?

Missing a presense so deeply

That the lack of it spirals into sadness

Heavy feet hit the sidewalk

Past the blackberry bushes each day

Lately the steps have been heavier

And my head swung lower than usual

Why is that saddness is so tiring?

Anxiety fills my belly

Grumbling for isolation

As I sit at a table with friends I have spent countless hours with

Because they cannot really love me

Skeptical and distant, I speak 

Of the day’s activities and the weather

Sticking to safe ground

I am more wobbly than before

Breathe. 

I remind myself

You know them, it’s okay.

Yet permanence is all a myth.

We will all die some day

Or lose each other much sooner than that.